well the motorcycle club had a party,
and all the young virgins were there.
and i found a blonde with little bitty titties
and a pretty yellow ribbon in her hair.
then i told her the three biggest lies in the world,
the ones my daddy first told me,
and that was the beginning of my sexual life
and the end of my fantasy.

i said, "this’ll only hurt for a little while,
i’ll only put the head of it in.
i promise that i’ll never try to cum in your mouth."

met her in a local honky-tonk,
told her it was love at first sight.
she was just a-lookin’ for a shoulder to cry on
and a place where she could spend the night.
me, i was a little nervous - i’d never been that far before,
so i told her the three biggest lies in the world
as we danced across the floor.

i said, "this’ll only hurt for a little while,
i’ll only put the head of it in.
i promise that i’ll never try to cum in your mouth."

busted in a birmingham robbery,
he didnt have no money for bail.
the judge bound him over to the local grand jury
and the sheriff threw his young ass in jail.
they put him in the cell with a pervert,
that later tried to climb in his bed.
stuck one of them homemade knives to his throat,
and these are the words that he said,

good buddy- "this’ll only hurt for a little while,
i’ll only put the head of it in.
i promise that i’ll never try to cum in your mouth."

mhmm mhmm mhmm too doo doo doo mhmm
well today there’s no salvation band’s packed up and gone
and i’m left standing with my penny in my hand
there’s a big crowd at the station where the blind man sings his song
but he sees lord what they can’t understand
it’s the 33rd of august lord and i’m finally coming down
eight days from sunday finds me saturday bound

once i stumbled through the darkness fell down to my knees
a thousand voices screaming in my brain
woke up in a squad car busted down for vacancy
and outside my cell it’s sure as hell it looked like rain
now i’ve got my dangerous feeling under lock and chain
i’ve killed my violent nature with a smile
though the demons danced and sang their songs within my fevered brain
not all my god like thoughts lord were defiled
it’s the 33rd of august lord…

yesterday’s newspaper forecast no rain for today
yesterday’s news was old news so i threw it away
sometimes at night lord you know i can still feel the pain
and outside my cell it sure as hell it looks like rain

if you’re feeling lonely
and think you’re the only
one left
that’s alone in a bar
if need somebody
with shoulders to cry on
well baby i’m not very far

chorus:
just look for my name on a jukebox
when you’re tired and feeling alone
put in a dime
and i’ll take the time
to sing you
a sad country song

if you started drinking
still can’t stop thinking
about all those long nights alone
if tear drops start falling
and you keep on calling
to find out there’s nobody home

chorus:
just look for my name on a jukebox
when you’re tired and feeling alone
put in a dime
and i’ll take the time
to sing you
a sad country song

by david allan coe

every night another woman
every day a different town
if i’m not accused of speeding
i’m accused of coming down
with a legal dose of something
that you heard was going ’round
and you wondered why i lost my sense of humor

every song another record
every day just like a clock
knowing well i’ve had to take it
till i make it to the top
with the devil right behind me
and my heart about to stop
then you wondered why i lost my sense of humor

twenty years i was in prison
more than that i was alone
some lily-white reporter
thinks it’s time that i was stoned
without sin, he wrote the story
and it chilled me to the bone
then he wondered why i lost my sense of humor

i shaved my beard and cut my hair off
it don’t matter anyhow
it was truth that told the answers
to the questions up till now
"crucify him," someone shouted
from the safety of the crowd
then they wondered why i lost my sense of humor

hey, take them crosses from my doorstep
there’s no reason to my rhyme
everybody knows somebody
will take care of me in time
i made friends of all you stand for
but the blind can’t lead the blind
just be glad i haven’t lost my sense of humor

just be glad i haven’t lost my sense of humor
’cause if i ever catch you i’m gonna kick your ass

she had good intentions and i had the same
she kept the baby and left me the blame
we both had our reasons but they weren’t the same
ain’t it funny the way love can do ya
we made a promise we’d never break up our home
or ever find reasons for leaving each other alone but we did
once we were stangers then we were friends
next we were lovers now we’re strangers again
ain’t it funny the way love can do ya but it did

i had good intentions and she had the same
she kept the heartaches and left me the shame
we both have our mem’ries but they’re not the same
ain’t it funny the way love can do ya
we made a promise…