words and music by rupert holmes
the star is born soundtrack, 1976
barbra streisand and kris kristofferson
sung by barbra streisand

the black, black widow is sittin’ in the middle of the web,
it’s the fly she seeks.
you may be her lover but you never will recover, ’cause
she ain’t had a bite for weeks.
you think your the same, ’cause you got the same name,
but the widow has a mobile home.
remember what i told you, she got eight arms to hold you,
and she’s never gonna let you roam.
she’ll tuck into bed and truck on your head, then she’ll
wrap you as a midnight snack.
so if you see a spider, don’t you sidle up beside her
why’d you think the widow’s wearin’ black?

queen bee, baby
pray that you may be left on your own, uh huh
nothin’ she’ll give you, gonna outlive you, uh, uh, uh
but the queen bee’s never gonna be alone. uh huh.
long before atlantis there has been a praying mantis and
you knows why he’s on his knees.
he may have religion but he’s just a sittin’ pigeon if a
woman even starts to tease.
he won’t even quibble if she has a little nibble on his neck,
what a way to go.
and now you done and torn it! you been messin’ with a
hornet, she’s a blue-blooded wasp, you know.
and just as you do it, she’ll inject you with a fluid that you
ain’t even got but none.
you’re the meat on the plate, not even first rate, she’s
gonna feed you to her seventh son.

just like the queen bee, baby
pray that you may be left on your own,
nothin’ she’ll give you, gonna outlive you, uh, uh, uh
but the queen bee’s never gonna be alone. uh huh. uh huh.

so, in conclusion, it’s an optical illusion, if you think that
we’re the weaker race.
men got the muscle, but the ladies got the hustle, and the
truth is staring in your face.
the mother bear stalks, and the queen of the hawks, is the
one who brings home the bread.
the lion that is regal, and the bald headed eagle, need a
woman just to keep them fed.
but come the evenin’, we’re like adam and his eve, inside
the garden. hear the serpent’s sound?
it’s so frustratin’, when you’re really into matin’, and there
ain’t a lovin’ man around.

whoever wrote this story
(it’s so frustratin’, when you’re really
into matin’, and there ain’t a lovin’ man around)
throw out the glory
(it’s so frustratin’, when you’re really
into matin’, and there ain’t a lovin’ man around)
bring in the men (give me them and i’ll swing)
write me a sequel
give me an equal, oh, oh, oh
and i’ll give that man
i said i’m give that lovin’ man
i said i’m gonna give that lovin’ man
i’m gonna give him that lovin’ sting! zap!

quiet night
and all around the calm and boring weather
quiet night
no other sound, but hearts that beat together
you can almost hear the things i’m thinking
you can almost see my heart take flight…
whisper low
but don’t say no
it’s such a quiet night!

nick asks flo to invest in a casino nick has decided to launch, but flo’s money
is tied up in his new show, so fanny becomes nick’s partner. fanny is featured
in the new 1920 ziegfeld follies world war i tribute number:

eddie:
our boys went rat-tat-tat-tat,
rat-tat-tat-tat,
and shot the kaiser where he sat-tat-tat-at.
with every poppity-pop,
some kraut took a drop.
american boys are all such straight shooters–
we’ll take care of him, mother,
when he comes home from the war.
we’ll take care of him, mother,
we’ll do everything that you would do–yeah–and more.
rat-tat-tat-tat,
we’ll give their backs a big pat.
they deserve a future full of joys
’cause they’re our yankee doodle,
yankee doodle,
yankee doodle,
doughboys.
company–order–arms–roll call–
company:
i’m private jones from arkansas,
i’m private smith from kansas,
i’m private ryan from maine,
i’m private burke from wisconsin,
i’m private o’brien from texas,
i’m private muntz from michigan,
fanny:
.i’m private schvartz from rock-a-way,
and i guess you heard reports
that the kaiser runs a block away
when they tell him, here comes schvartz,
’cause ven i get mad, believe it, jack,
out from nowhere comes a maniac,
a kick in the foot,
a shot in the pants–
i wouldn’t give a second chance.
schvartz from rock-a-way.
chorus:
private schwartz
private schwartz
private schwartz from rock-a-way.
fanny:
i met mademoiselle from armentieres
and my bagels gave a spin (oy, yoy),
she said, private schvartz,
come closer, dear!
what a tzimmis i got in!
ven you’re fighting for democracy,
call on irving schvartz and company,
i’m through and through
red, white and bluish,
i talk this way
because i’m british.
tell far rock-a-way, don’t pull the dock away,
’cause sailing home is general schvartz.
all:
rat-ta ta ta ta tat,
we’ll give their backs a big pat.
they deserve a great big medal
and a loud huzzah,
over here and over there
you’ll hear
rat-tat a tat tat,
rat-tat a tat tat,
rat tat a tat tat tat,
that’s our yankee doodle,
yankee doodle
rat tat a tat tat tat
hurrah.

i’ll be wearing ribbons down my back this summer
blue & green and streaming in the yellow sky
so if someone special comes my way this summer
he might notice me passing by
and so i’ll try to make it easier to find me
in the stillness of july
because a breeze might stir a rainbow up behind me
that might happen to catch the gentleman’s eye
and he might smile and take me by the hand
this summer
making me recall how lovely love can be
and so i will proudly wear
ribbons down my back
shining in my hair
that he might notice me!

right as the rain
that falls from above
so real, so right as our love
it came like the spring
that breaks through the snow
i can’t say what it may bring
i only know…i only know…
it’s right to believe
whatever gave your eyes this glow
whatever gave my heart this song
can’t be wrong
it’s right as the rain
that falls from above
and fills the world
with a blue of our love
as rain must fall
and day must dawn
this love…this love…
must go on.